Worth it
by HelloI'mOz
Summary: Post Allegiant. Tobias is writing a letter. Two shot.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Tris,

I hope you realize how much I miss you. Life is almost unbearable without you. Sometimes I think of ending it. Then I remember that I've lived without you before and I can probably do it again. That and I'm sure you wouldn't want to be responsible for me committing suicide.

I hope t his letter does get to you, wherever you are. Im sending it in a balloon. My neighbor is a history expert and said that people used to send messages in bottles across the sea, so I decided that maybe something like that might work with a balloon in our case.

If heaven is real I'm sure you got in. What's it like up there? Is it nice? Would I like it? You don't have to write a response to this letter. I'm sure you'd have a hard time sending it down. The sad part is, Tris: if heaven is real, there is no guaranteeing that I will get in. I hope I do. I don't know if I could spend an eternity away from you.

Just in case I don't get in, I wanted to tell you something, Tris: it was worth it. You dying was a small price to pay for loving someone so beautiful, smart, selfless and brave. I still lie awake some nights wondering how I was ever good enough for you.

If you do get this letter, don't deny what I just said is true. You know you are a far better person than I am. You're a complete idiot and are far too stubborn for your own good but hey, I'm the one who was stupid enough to fall in love with someone who was bound to break my heart.

I also want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for being stupid and stubborn and trying to sacrifice yourself multiple times. And for dying. Your lucky that I'm kind and selfless enough to forgive you, Tris, because you dying really hurt me.

Christina and Caleb said hi. Evelyn said sorry for being such a jerk to you. Amar told me that he liked me when I was an initiate and I was half flattered and half freaked out. Christina said: if this does work, please tell Will how much she loves him. And she said she's going to smack you in the face the next time she sees you.

Sincerely, Tobias


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Tobias,

I got your letter. I might not forgive myself if I was the reason you ended your life. Go find a nice girl. I won't mind. Just tell her to be prepared for me to kiss you at least once in heaven. Even of you don't want to be with me once you get up here I'll get one more kiss.

Tell Caleb that I love him and he shouldn't blame himself at all. Tell Evelyn I completely forgive her and I'm sorry that I was so cold to her. Inform Zeke that, and I quote, "Uriah is still sexier than him, even after death." Tell Christina that I'll gladly accept that slap as long as it's followed by a hug. Also, I told Will what Christina said and he demanded that you hug her and tell her that she was his true love.

Speaking of true love I think I've found mine. He's absolutely wonderful in every sense of the word. He's handsome, sweet, caring, smart, strong, selfless and brave. Unfortunately no matter what I do I can't convince him that I don't deserve him, not the other way around.

I'm serious, Tobias. I'm short, not pretty, and I'm dead. I killed one of my best friends and even though he forgave me I've regretted it every day, even after my death. I'm a horrible person who killed herself leaving the love of her life and her brother behind on earth.

Heaven is beautiful and you are going to have no trouble getting in. I've been watching over you as your guardian angel. I might just have to send a few nice girls your way.

Everything up here is so pure. Everyone is always smiling because the atmosphere is so happy. My mom and dad are up here and they look like they're in their teenage years again. That's one thing about heaven, you're asked what age you wish to look like. I chose to stay sixteen. I hope you choose eighteen.

Marlene and Uriah are a couple and Lynn ended up with, believe it or not, Eric! I'm confident of Eric can make it into heaven so can you. Eric has been much nicer since him and Lynn started going out. He doesn't really care about people being divergent anymore.

I'm using one of the many doves up here to send this down to you. I like your idea with the balloon better, though.

Heaven really is wonderful. Marcus isn't here, I heard from someone that they sent him down into Hell. I don't know for sure but I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.

Sincerely, Tris

P.S. I almost forgot to tell you who my true love is. It's you, Tobias. It always has been and always will be.


End file.
